Phubbing: Are you a fan of this bad habit that science says can put our relationships at risk?

Modern life has totally changed the way we interact with others, and this development is not always a good thing. Some new behaviors can thus endanger our relationships. The development of dating apps, for example, has given rise to the syndrome of perishable goods, fatal for the couple. Also, watch out for the winter coating, which has exploded with inflation and can be expensive for lovers. In an article published on November 29, Stylist highlights another toxic practice for our relationships: phubbing.

What is phubbing?

Impossible to deny it, we are more and more dependent on our laptops. Citing recent research, Stylist claims that the average person spends an average of 3h23 each day on their phone, which equates to 5 days a year. We would also check our smartphones about 58 times a day. Are you just one of those people who spend their day glued to their laptop? So you are probably a fan without knowing it about phubbing, a bad habit that damages our relationships, but also friendly and family ones. This English portmanteau word is a contraction of “phone snobbing” and describes the act of snubbing someone for the benefit of their phone. A laptop which is also the source of many toxic actions in our personal and sentimental lives, like fexting.

Who hasn’t ignored the person in front of them to read or answer a text, check their social network or make a call? The worst is when he is interrupted in the middle of a conversation. It becomes even more problematic when we make it a habit, and we do it so often that we don’t even realize it. Phubbing is not only rude and annoying, it puts our relationships at risk according to researcher Yeslam Al-Sagga. In his study The psychology of phubbing, he states that we are mostly inclined to grab the people closest to us. The participants in this research raved about their partner the most, followed by their close friends, siblings, parents and children. And the younger you are, the more phubbing you are.

Hang up the phone

However, this practice is particularly harmful because it sends the exposed person a harmful message every time. In a couple, phubbing increases conflicts around the use of the phone. But above all, it causes a feeling of exclusion in the ignored partner, resulting in a decrease in intimacy and an increase in dissatisfaction in the couple. It can also feed jealousy and the fear of being cheated on by the cheating partner. Finally, whether in relationships or friendships, phubbing sends the message that the ignored person doesn’t count in the snubber’s eyes. She is not that important and valuable to him if he has other priorities in her presence. Phubbing is therefore a source of discomfort and can deteriorate the relationship over time.

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