When you are in a toxic relationship, it is not always easy to become aware of it. But some behavior is not deceptive.
Devaluation, arguments… Here are 3 signs that should warn you, according to Nathalie Marcot, expert in relationships. To talk about a toxic relationship, the specialist emphasizes, it is necessary that “the signs accumulate and that these actions are repeated”.
The incessant and futile arguments
Arguing is normal. But when dialogue is impossible and the conflicts are incessant, it can reveal that the relationship is dysfunctional. “If a couple is constantly arguing over a yes or a no, because of a sock lying around, a meal that’s too salty… it’s time to react”, or to leave, explains Nathalie Marcot, who has a YouTube channel on which she gives love advice. She also specifies that the toxic individual never questions himself and systematically blames the other.
The devaluation of the other
Does he or she spend their time blaming you? To tell you that you’re not up to it? That what you say is irrelevant? In the context of an unhealthy relationship, “it is common for one of the two to belittle and devalue the other mentally and/or physically, whether through attitude, hurtful words, insults”. In a balanced relationship, partners respect and support each other. The toxic person, she notes, may also “lack consistency in being kind and caring one day, and obnoxious the next.”
The psychological influence
To identify a potentially toxic relationship, you can also ask yourself if you are free to make your own choices. If this is not the case and your spouse wants to control everything, your actions and gestures, your hobbies, your outings, your dress or decides who you have the right to see or not and that he isolates you, it should warn you . You should also know that “a toxic person will generally cling to vulnerable people who will do anything to please the other and to whom they must submit,” adds the expert.